Ask Gary: Halloween Decorating Advice
Halloween decorating can be surprisingly complicated. How many pumpkins should you put on the porch? Do bats belong inside the house? Is it acceptable to leave cobwebs hanging from the chandelier until Christmas?
Fortunately, Gary—our resident spider and Director of Quality Assurance—is here to answer your most urgent Halloween decorating questions.
Please note that Gary’s qualifications are entirely self-appointed. However, he has eight legs, excellent taste, and very strong opinions.
Director of Quality Assurance
Hello, I’m Gary the spider.
I test stitches. I judge decor. I bring order to chaos (mostly). You ask the questions, I provide the answers you didn’t know you needed.
Dear Gary: Where is the best place to display a giant spider?
Gary: Somewhere unexpected.
The porch is a classic choice, but why limit yourself? Consider placing a giant spider:
Above the front door
On the staircase
Behind the shower curtain
At the dinner table
Directly behind anyone who claims they “aren’t afraid of spiders”
A successful Halloween display should create atmosphere, excitement, and at least one startled scream.
Dear Gary:
How many spiders are too many?
Gary: The question is offensive.
There is no such thing as “too many spiders.” There are only areas of your home that have not yet reached their full spider potential.
If you can still see the furniture, add another spider.
Dear Gary:
My Halloween display feels like it’s missing something. What should I add?
Gary: A spider.
Reader: It already has three spiders.
Gary: Then you are off to a promising start.
Dear Gary:
Should all of my spiders match?
Gary: Absolutely not.
A healthy spider collection should include a variety of colors, fabrics, personalities, and emotional baggage.
Matching is for throw pillows. Spiders should express themselves.
Dear Gary:
Can Halloween decorations be cute instead of scary?
Gary: Of course. I am both.
Plush Halloween decorations are perfect for adding spooky fun without making your home look like the scene of an unsolved crime.
The result will feel playful, cozy, and just unsettling enough.
Dear Gary:
Is it okay to decorate with pumpkins that aren’t orange?
Gary: Yes. Gary supports creative freedom in all areas except spider removal.
Try black, white, pink, purple, plaid, striped, or polka-dot pumpkins. Halloween décor does not have to follow traditional rules.
If someone complains, place a spider on their chair.
Dear Gary:
How do I make my Halloween porch look more dramatic?
Gary: Begin with one enormous spider.
Next, add stacked pumpkins, oversized bats, ghosts, tombstones, and perhaps a severed plush hand reaching toward the candy bowl.
Finally, dim the lights and position the spider so it appears to be quietly supervising trick-or-treaters.
Dear Gary:
Can I mix cute and creepy decorations?
Gary: Yes. In fact, Gary recommends it.
Place an adorable smiling pumpkin beside a skull. Add a cheerful ghost near a coffin. Sit a sweet little candy corn doll next to something with suspiciously realistic teeth.
The cute decorations encourage visitors to come closer.
The creepy decorations make them regret it.
It is a very effective system.
Dear Gary:
My family says the Halloween decorations are taking over the house. What should I do?
Gary: Correct them.
The decorations are not “taking over.” They are creating an immersive seasonal experience.
If your family continues to resist, remind them that Halloween only lasts for one month.
Unless you start decorating in August. Which you should.
Dear Gary:
Do bats belong indoors?
Gary: Bats belong wherever bats choose to belong.
A group of plush bats can hang from a mantel, sit on a bookshelf, decorate a Halloween tree, or swoop dramatically above your sewing table.
Please do not ask Gary to enforce bat-related boundaries. The bats have their own department.
Dear Gary:
Should I make my own Halloween decorations?
Gary: Obviously.
When you sew your own Halloween decorations, you can choose the colors, fabrics, expressions, and precise level of creepiness.
Create Your Own Handmade Halloween Display
Ready to follow Gary’s highly questionable decorating advice? Explore our Halloween sewing patterns and create your own collection of plush spiders, pumpkins, ghosts, bats, potion bottles, haunted treats, and oversized porch decorations.
Whether your Halloween style is cute, creepy, colorful, or completely overrun by spiders, handmade decorations make it easy to create a display that is uniquely yours.
Gary will be inspecting the final results.
From a respectful distance.
Probably above you.
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