Phil & Gary’s Back-to-School Advice
Questionable Wisdom From the Sew Cute Patterns Staff
Back-to-school season is here, which means it’s time for sharpened pencils, freshly packed lunches, new routines—and advice from two individuals who are completely unqualified to give it.
Phil the Rat, our Vice President of Unexpected Opportunities, and Gary the Spider, our Director of Quality Assurance, have graciously agreed to share their best back-to-school tips. Human Resources asked us to clarify that the opinions expressed below belong entirely to Phil and Gary.
Tip #1: Always Pack the Essentials
Phil: “A well-packed backpack should contain three pencils, two snacks, one emergency snack and a second emergency snack in case you accidentally eat the first emergency snack.”
Gary: “You forgot the notebook.”
Phil: “I stand by my list.”
Our plush pencil and pencil sharpener agree that school supplies are important—although the sharpener has asked Phil to stop referring to it as a “tiny pencil blender.”
Tip #2: Choose Your Seat Carefully
Gary: “Sit somewhere you can clearly see the teacher, the board and all available exits.”
Phil: “I recommend sitting near the person with the best snacks.”
Gary: “That is not how seats should be selected.”
Phil: “It has worked for me.”
Our plush bookworm prefers a quiet spot near the books, while the plush apple likes to sit right on the teacher’s desk and look suspiciously well-behaved.
Tip #3: Make a Good First Impression
Gary: “Arrive on time, introduce yourself politely and come prepared.”
Phil: “Walk in wearing sunglasses. Everyone will assume you’re important.”
Frank the Fry would like it noted that sunglasses are not simply an accessory. They are a lifestyle.
He has already selected his back-to-school outfit and requested that the hallway be treated like a runway.
Tip #4: Stay Organized
Gary: “Label your supplies, keep your assignments together and check your backpack every evening.”
Phil: “I have a system.”
Gary: “Your system is a pile.”
Phil: “It is an organized pile.”
Gary: “You found a permission slip from last year in it.”
Phil: “Exactly. I knew where it was.”
A giant plush pencil or crayon won’t necessarily make anyone more organized, but it will make the homework area considerably cuter.
And unlike real pencils and crayons, these oversized versions are nearly impossible to lose between the couch cushions.
Nearly.
Tip #5: Read Every Day
Gary: “Reading improves vocabulary, concentration and imagination.”
Phil: “It also helps you identify which cookbooks contain recipes with cheese.”
Gary: “Not every book is about food.”
Phil: “That sounds like a publishing problem.”
Our plush book pillows are perfect for creating a cozy reading corner—even if someone uses them for an accidental after-school nap.
Phil has already reserved one. He says he’ll be “conducting research with his eyes closed.”
Tip #6: Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions
Gary: “If you don’t understand something, raise your hand and ask for help.”
Phil: “What if you don’t have hands?”
Gary: “You can still speak.”
Phil: “What if your voice isn’t being heard?”
Gary: “Please do not file another complaint with HR.”
Phil: “Too late.”
Phil would like every student to remember that asking questions is an important part of learning.
He would also like everyone to know that his most recent HR complaint is “being handled internally.”
Tip #7: Be Kind to Your Classmates
Gary: “Invite someone new to sit with you. Share supplies. Offer encouragement.”
Phil: “And never comment on what someone brings for lunch.”
Gary: “That is surprisingly thoughtful.”
Phil: “You never know when they might be willing to trade.”
Whether your new school friend is a bookworm, an apple, a pencil, a crayon or a very dramatic order of fries, everyone deserves a spot at the table.
Preferably near Phil. Apparently, he has crackers.
Tip #8: Take Your Time With Big Projects
Gary: “Read all the directions before you begin.”
Phil: “I like to begin immediately and then glance at the directions once something goes wrong.”
Gary: “That explains a great deal.”
This advice also applies to sewing projects.
Before cutting your fabric, read through the pattern, gather your supplies and double-check that your pattern pieces are facing the correct direction.
Gary personally inspects every project.
Phil personally sits on the instructions.
Both consider themselves essential to the process.
Tip #9: Get Plenty of Rest
Gary: “A consistent bedtime helps you feel prepared for the next day.”
Phil: “Agreed. I recommend going to bed immediately after dinner.”
Gary: “That seems early.”
Phil: “I didn’t say I would stay in bed. That’s where I keep my snacks.”
A soft handmade plushie makes a wonderful bedtime companion for little learners adjusting to a new school routine.
Just choose carefully.
Some plushies offer comfort and reassurance.
Others file workplace grievances (i.e., Phil).
Tip #10: Be Yourself
Gary: “You don’t have to be exactly like everyone else. Your differences are what make you special.”
Phil: “Correct. For example, Gary has eight legs and still takes longer than I do to get ready.”
Gary: “I have eight shoes to put on.”
Phil: “Excuses.”
Whether your child is a quiet little bookworm, a colorful crayon, a sharp pencil or a pair of fries wearing diva glasses, back-to-school season is a chance to learn, grow and show off a little personality.
Make Something Fun for Back-to-School Season
Add a little handmade happiness to the new school year with one of our back-to-school sewing patterns:
Plush Pencil and Pencil Sharpener
Bookworm and Apple Plushies
Oversized Pencil Plush
Giant Crayon Plush
Cozy Book Pillows
Frank the Fry and His Extremely Important Glasses
They’re fun for classroom décor, reading corners, teacher gifts, after-school snuggles and first-day-of-school photos.
According to Gary, they may also encourage creativity and confidence.
According to Phil, they may encourage people to bring better snacks.
Shop the back-to-school sewing patterns and create a school-year companion that’s much more fun than homework.
Disclaimer: Sew Cute Patterns cannot guarantee improved grades, completed homework or lunches that make it home uneaten. We can, however, guarantee that Phil will continue offering advice whether anyone asks for it or not.
